Accept yourself, improve yourself

It's no surprise that people become depressed, sometimes even kill themselves when they, say, get dumped, lose a job, or lose a lot of money. You build up an identity, and it's wrapped up in responsibility, in money, in material things, in the people you interact with and the things you do. All these overlapping, tightly woven strings, and when one is cut, it's easy to think everything will come loose. But keep yourself together, because it won't. Your family will love you, you'll learn to make due with less money, and so on. You are your experience. Dust yourself off, take what you've learned, and move on. People go to jail for decades, and they find redemption somehow. The people who have learned to define themselves by their future and their present, not their past, these are the heroes. Even religious people call it being “born again.” The top movie, according to IMDB, is “The Shawshank Redemption.”

It's easy to think the past mistakes have held you back. But the truth is, what holds you back is making the same mistakes over and over again. Anyone can do it, because chances are no one gives you the feedback you need. Maybe you'll have to seek out a professional, be it a therapist or a job coach, maybe even a marriage counselor, if that's what you need. Maybe you can just do it on your own, but I wouldn't count on it. Anything you have can be taken away: your house can catch on fire; someone you love can leave you. Hell, you can be arrested and lose the most valuable commodity you have: Time. But if there's one thing that time does, it is go on. Life won't wait. Whenever you have a setback, no matter how large, take a moment (metaphorically, that is - that moment could go on for months), then, accept yourself, improve yourself.

It sounds heartless, I know, but the sad part is, the universe doesn't know your name. There's no big conspiracy against you, any more than “thinking” success will bring it about. It's just life. Everyone goes through it, and no one makes it out alive. Every experience is a learning experience. If it's a mistake on your part, look at it extra hard not just to learn the obvious lessons, but the deep lessons that caused the real mistake. If it's just something that happens to you, well, that's why they call it luck. But you can still take something positive away from it if you choose. No one can take away your passions, your loves, your observations, the private things that make you chuckle at yourself. No one can take away the moon. Just look up, and there it is. It reflects as brightly on you as every one else in the world, whether they look up at it and appreciate it or not. The sun is even worse. It shines just as brightly on desolate desert sand as it does lush jungles, and just as brightly on farmers as it does air-conditioned buildings. But you, on the other hand, can choose who you shine on; you can even choose who you want to reflect back on you. So choose wisely.

You are what you do. You are not what you have done. Your past made you, but it cannot define you. You may have to face what you've done, but you're better off if you can look to the future. The future is right in front of you. You better start moving, the past is creeping up on you...right...now.